Never Have I Ever Read That Classic Novel
Each player names a literary classic that they have not read. Players who have read it take a sip. Players who once pretended to have read it to impress someone with whom they wished to have sex finish their drinks and cry about being alone, so alone. Players who have read and enjoyed more than three Hemingway novels are sent home.
I Am Tyler’s Dizzying Hangover
Watch David Fincher’s film adaptation of Fight Club. (If the copy you watch is owned by a player, said player must finish their drink.) Take a sip every time something you thought was excessively cool when you were a teenager happens. If you still find it cool, finish your drink. If any other player starts complaining about the book being better, finish theirs.
Objectequilism
Carefully eavesdrop until you figure out who at the party is a Libertarian. Once you see what they are drinking, go to the kitchen and confiscate the rest of their alcohol. Leave.
Hot Line Drink
Play a Drake album. Every time he says something that sounds like something an ex would say when they sobbingly call you at three in the morning, finish your drink. For bonus points, grow a sad beard and make the women around you visibly uncomfortable.
Anyway, Here’s Alcohol
Find that one man who showed up to the party with a musical instrument (there will be one). Request that he play a song for you. While he is busy doing that, steal his drink.
Find the Lesbian
Casually mention the video for Janelle Monae’s “Make Me Feel” to every woman in the room. If her eyes light up, congratulations! You found the lesbian. Do a shot to celebrate your victory.
Getting Drunk Isn’t Hard When You Have a Library Card
Secure several bottles of vodka to your person, then head to your local library. Whenever you see a book that is not where it should be, take a sneaky sip and either return the book to its rightful place (if you have a working understanding of the Dewey Decimal system) or place it on the return cart next to the Information Desk (if you do not). You will get very drunk and simultaneously endear yourself to the library staff. PLEASE NOTE: Do not attempt this in the cookbook or knitting book sections, as you will likely die. PLEASE FURTHER NOTE: Do not attempt this at all, actually. Drinking is not allowed in the library. Seriously. We mean it. Come on, guys.
Catsitting
Find the host’s cat and sit next to it for the duration of the party. Strictly speaking, you don’t need alcohol for this one, but it never hurts.
Drunk More with Feeling
Put on a season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Whenever you see a party-goer realize that the character they most identified with as a teen is actually an insufferable asshole, take a drink. When you come to this realization yourself, quickly distract yourself by asking the room who their least favourite character is. (It’s Dawn. It’s always Dawn.)
Russian Bloglette
Players look up the blogs they kept when they were thirteen and take turns reading selected passages aloud. Every time you hear something that makes you recoil with secondhand embarrassment, do a shot. The game ends when everyone is dead of a potent combination of alcohol poisoning and shame.
Watching Riverdale
Just that, and constant, constant drinking.
The Mimsy 